Flip Flop Daily Review Criteria

This is the most important factor in flip flop selection. Ask yourself, “where and why will I be wearing these flip flops?”

The answer will inform your choice of flip flops and will set the tone for your overall experience. Do not be the guy who shows up at the beach on the first date in a pair of Crocs. 

He was obviously seduced by their fentanyl-esq synthetically achieved ultra-comfort. In placing comfort above occasion he has chosen hot pockets alone over the sink and beer gulped directly from the growler alone in his perpetual bachelor pad. There will be no second date.

Here are a few common occasions with appropriate flip flop option suggestions:

• First Date: Play it safe with a pair of Olukai or Chaco’s. If you really want to impress pick up a pair of Ugg Seaside flips. Avoid Crocs and Havaiana’s.
  
  The former shows you’ve given up and the later says that you’re still mentally 18 years old and just going through the motions of a “date” in hopes of getting lucky so you can brag about it to your “Bro’s.”

• Forced “fun” after-work activity: For whatever reason employers think that they are rewarding their employees by forcing them to attend social events with other coworkers.
  
  This ignores the obvious fact that none of these people would ever make eye contact with each other on the bus let alone choose to spend 4 hours trapped together on a party boat with an open bar, karaoke machine, and their boss. The real reward for a job well done would be an extra day or two away from these people.
  
  However, in the party boat scenario there are a couple of options. Havaiana’s are the first choice if you’re hoping to get some action from whoever in marketing is willing to make the poorest decision that night. Nothing says “drunk and not too picky” as well.
  
  In this scenario Havaianas are the equivalent of a “T” thong purposely visible above the waistline of a too short miniskirt. They each scream “poor choices will be made tonight.” The other option is to skip the event entirely. I suggest this choice.

• Beach House barbecue with social or economic superior: This is a tricky one and requires navigating the thin middle ground between aspiration and desperation.
  
  I suggest something from Hari Mari’s Dunes line. They have a common man look but with upper class detailing and finish.