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April UGG

Ugh… UGG – Are We on the Same Journey?

I’ve had many pairs of flipflops show up for review but have only worn and reviewed two pair of Ugg flip flops. Both were from their “Seaside” line. Both had the signature, and very unique, cork footbed. One had a leather strap and the other a blue and white fabric strap. Both Ugg flip flops conveyed a most amazing presentation and elegant design. From the beautiful well-constructed box to the crisp tissue paper comforting them until they’re released into the world as angels sing in the background.

Ugg Flip Flops

The Ugg unboxing experience is truly among the best unboxing experiences of any flipflop on the market. Bested only by 2019 Flip Flop of the Year, the Hari Mari x Peter Millar. When encountering a new pair of Ugg flip flops I feel as if I’ve come in contact with something that will not only be under my purview, but also my duty to respect and hold, own and care for. I’ve had lesser feelings for adorably cute basketfuls of newborn puppies.

“They are thin, sexy, elegant and everything un-American.”

I first met the Ugg Seaside leather flip flop with leather strap. Upon placing the beautiful brown leather clad flip flops upon my feet, I knew I’d have problems. I’m just not good enough for them. True works of art, they have, against their will, been thrust upon my feet. The simplicity of the crosshatched styling across the toe–post and strap connector, a simple white accent across the then rubber bottom, clash with everything me.

The cork insole provides the perfect balance of comfort without weight, while radiating poise from an echelon I’ve only ever viewed from afar. They provide the right bit of comfort, flexibility, moisture absorption and style. Though surprisingly flat, they contain perfectly placed ridges to match one’s toes and heel. The outsole is perfect in profile and flexibility. These flip flops are surprisingly pliable and haven’t suffered any separation between the insole, outsole and footbed.

They are thin, sexy, elegant and everything un-American. These are fresh out of a Milan runway.

The other pair swapped out the leather strap for a very tasteful blue fabric strap. At first blush they come off as the lessor of its posh leather peer, but upon closer inspection and trial, they are every bit the well-heeled elite as the other pair. Their aesthetic is slightly sporty and casual. The blue outsole and cork insole are perfectly designed for daytime wear. These are every bit a member of their bourgeoisie brethren, but possibly more dangerous, like “casual guy” in a thousand dollar sweatshirt. I’m way out of my league.

“We were just raised differently…”

Every time I put on these beauties I have to pause, look down and politely ask – “are we on this journey together?” You see, all this splendor and style has created a precious child. One that can’t follow directions. Yeah both pair suffer from a fair bit of lose strap induced toe curl, but it’s more than that. They just don’t want to be with me. Every step I take I feel their wandering eye measuring a slightly different pavement location than I intended. It’s not that they are trying to go prove anything, they just see the world differently than I do.

Despite which pair of Ugg Seaside flip flops I’m in, most steps end with one or both flip flops veering slightly left or right of where my foot was heading. My insecurity has convinced me that it’s due to the fact that I’m just out of my league. The fact is that I’m nothing more than a tourist in this stratum, an environment reserved only for the elite.

We were just raised differently, me on spaghettio’s and WWE; the Ugg Seaside flip flops on Foie Gras and dressage.

I really can’t blame the Uggs. We just don’t connect on backgrounds or futures.

I know it’s me, not you. I love our time together. The memories will live forever.

Can I ask just one thing? Will you travel “with” me tonight, for one last stroll?