One photo turned into ten as I tried desperately to make these flip flop (slides) look appealing. It was in vain.
One of the single most horrendous looking slides on the market, the Crocs slip-ons make their Adidas counterparts look like high-fashion.
These flip flops feature a dual-colored footbed made for a duck with webbed feet, and Velcro straps that ensure you both look like you’ve lost all F’s to give and feel like it too.
For this reason, they scream “I’m single and living in my parent’s basement” and simultaneously exude “Dudeness” to the highest of levels.
With that said, it’s no wonder that, among the countless flip flops that arrived at my door to review, these were my first picks.
What better time to test out these slides than during my first week of college? Slipping them on, I knew immediately what their purpose in my life would be: shower shoes.
The first time I wore them, I wanted to die of embarrassment.
Most everyone has been in a public bathroom/shower at least once in their life and experienced utter disgust as bare feet creep across the clammy damp surface of the shower floor.
For all you know, a hygienically challenged urchin has released its bladder on the very same tiles your bare feet are getting way to intimate with – maybe some of their body hair has even gotten clogged in the drain – ugh. For all these reasons, the Crocs slides are my savior.
The first time I wore them, I wanted to die of embarrassment.
Walking past the long row of dorm rooms on the route to the bathroom, I felt the sting of unflattering stares upon my feet. Waves of judgment crashing over me as I took each step. Getting into the shower and locking the door provided immediate social relief. It was then that I realized the true power of the Crocs Modi Sports Slide.
Without the disparaging gawks of my peers holding them back, the Crocs showed their true colors.
With grooves on the outsole that allowed them mind-blowing traction on even the wettest of floors, there was no worry in my mind of slipping as I would wear any other flip flop – if I didn’t want to move, they wouldn’t budge.
The best part of it all: it didn’t even feel like I was wearing shoes.
I was stunned – these slips were ridiculously practical.
I had all the benefits of wearing slides without the downside of feeling the shoes on my feet. And everyone knows that no-shoe feeling is the most comfortable feeling when wearing any kind of footwear.
Adjusted properly, the straps don’t even feel like they’re there, while still providing full support for anything you may want to do.
I was stunned – these slips were ridiculously practical.
Like a superhero, only once the gaze of the ordinary was averted did its true powers reveal themselves. (In contrast, however, superheroes are typically attractive.)
Moral of the story: don’t judge a flip flop by its fugliness.
