Despite what I may have told Sally Sanders that summer between freshman and sophomore year of college, I am not a doctor.
Nor am I a Naturopath (hipster for witch doctor). However, I think I have stumbled upon a significant medical discovery.
This is thanks to a pair of Nidengbao brand flip flops, or is it Ndengbao?
There is some debate here as it varies depending on which part of the flip flop you look at.
The strap shows them to be Nidengbao, however, the footbed drops the “I” and says they are Ndengbao.
Since the only English lettering on the tag that came with the flip flops also reads “NIDENGBAO” I resort to the two out of three rule and decide that I am wearing Nidengbao’s; despite what the footbed tries to tell me.
I have never seen this brand before however, it is somehow familiar. The logo is a capital letter N with a stylized silhouette of a chicken, or is it a rooster, wafting around the left side of the letter.
It’s sort of a mix between the Kellogg’s Corn Flakes rooster and the Cathay Pacific Airlines logo slapped on top of the Nintendo “N”. Sadly the rest of the writing on the tag is useless to me as it is all in Chinese.
I can’t help but wonder if it holds a clue to my medical discovery?
What is the discovery you ask? Well, it is that these shoes make me…and there really is no polite way for me to put this… nauseated.
It took me a while to connect the dots but when I wear them and walk around I truly and physically feel as if I may lose my lunch.
Before putting them on to test them out I felt completely fine but after spending about 15 minutes walking around at home I suddenly felt like throwing up. So I sat down for a bit and the feeling passed.
I got up and began walking again and bam, the feeling came back after a few minutes.
This happened a few times before I thought that perhaps it had something to do with the flip flops.
I took them off and walked around and felt fine. I tried on a few other pairs of flip flips and walked around for a long time and felt fine. But when I put the Nidengbao’s back on and began to walk around the feeling returned.
What on earth is going on? I have two theories.
First, I suspect that this may be due to the oddly placed arch support bump. It is more toward my toes and the middle of my foot rather than in the spot where the arch actually is.
I googled foot pressure points and sure enough there’s one in that area that is supposed to be connected to the stomach. Interesting…
My second theory is that the nausea may be a result of the material these flip flops are made of.
A contact high of sorts. They are almost entirely made of 100% synthetic foam rubberish stuff.
Even the strap is made of this material. Only the toe post is not, it is nylon. Everything else came directly from Nidengbao’s R&D lab. Could some of the writing on the label be a warning?
“Use in small doses” or “do not wear barefoot?”.
I really wish I could read Chinese.
Apart from the need to puke when I wear them the flip flops are fine. They aren’t particularly stylish or ugly.
They look like low cost flip flops just this side of disposable.
I realize how odd it is that they make me feel like ralphing and wonder if it is just me or would others have the same issue?
Perhaps I mistakenly got my hands on a pair of prescription flip flops?
I’ll be sure and ask my witch doctor at my next checkup but until then these suckers will be getting no wear from me.
Flip Flop Verdict
Overall Performance — 1.8 out of 5
By prescription only
Fit – 2
It fits my foot well in some ways but is off in others and they make me want to puke
Style – 2
They look fine
Traction – 2
Comfort – 2
Arch support is oddly placed and the wave of nausea they cause is a big issue
Dudeness – 1
One cannot find enlightenment hugging the commode