That new Chinese place….well it’s not that new anymore. The one that the Johnsons always talk about, the one you wrote off long ago because well…the last time you had any culinary interaction with the Johnson’s it was the equivalent of hotdog macaroni cheese. I mean it’s got the basics; carbs, dairy and protein, but wow…suffering in the “grown adult” category. But on that note, the only reason you do keep eyeing that Chinese place, “Ming Diner” or is it “Panda bamboo something” is cause Joanne the hot newly single three kid soccer mom mentioned it in passing and wow, with a figure like that “Panda diner bamboo ming” must be good.
Enter the Sanuk Fraid Not. Footwear equivalent of, “oh yeah…my friend might have a pair, or I saw them.” It’s known but not really sought after – not unlike the world’s greatest Waldorf salad recipe.
“The closest I can think of is, “Nouveau riche” which is French for American.“
They languished in my box for some time with a constant, “oh…yeah I should open those” as I casually looked past for the more stylish and known brands, yearning for their time in the FFD spotlight. Just like the slightly nerdy, and “he’s not .. ugly” guy in sophomore English class, the Sanuk’s have proven to be a real diamond in the – (let’s be honest these are flip flops)…not so rough.
A quick glance at the side profile, and I thought I’d be happier wearing cardboard. And those straps, really?! The pre-cut fringy things! What’s the English for it, pre-cut, all look worn, but not worn but everybody knows, but still make it look not new, new look? The closest I can think of is; “Nouveau riche” which is French for “American”.
It’s like the lining in a Houston strip club booth.
I mean visually – they’re already trying too hard. Collectively have we really reached a point where it’s so embarrassing or gouache (French for “British”) to have something that’s new? Is it so bad to actually have something and use it, wear it out on its own? Is there some village or more likely village of villages of people who “pre-stress” our apparel to the point that we no longer flagellate ourselves for having the means to afford a Big Mac and a heart attack?
But the feel…oh the feel. Again like the nerdy eyeglass girl; these babies are CRAZY in private. It’s a strange combination of the undersell and no drama yoga mat soul with a felt fabric thong. The thong is the magic; that feeling. It’s like the lining in a Houston strip club booth. Feels GOOOOOD and nobody really knows where it comes from, wants to talk about it and more….what it’s seen.
The width is a little strange, they are wider than the average flip flop, it’s not much I can’t determine if it’s a styling or traction issue; luckily it doesn’t impact the bipedal action and I’m not that kid who’s rubbing their heels together with every step.
“…more like a few beers on the floating dock slick.”
The yoga mat material sole is fine with no amazing arch support, but much more comfortable and ergonomic than a cursory profile view would have one surmise. It does fall victim to a classic beachwear issue; in an attempt to be “comfortable” and stylish, the yoga mat sole fails the water test. They don’t get mayonnaise on glass slick; more like a few beers on the floating dock slick. You probably won’t trip, but you know you gotta pay attention.
They are light; truly less is more when it comes to weight on the feet. I’m pretty sure it was the accounting department that drove cost cutting in the total material, and to these hard-working bean counters, I say, “nicely done, you’ve earned another generic branded wine-cooler.”
