Teva Mush II – Unsafe On Any Surface

Unlike the infamous Chevrolet Corvair of the early 1960’s the Teva Mush II flip flop does not look sporty. I also assume that their complete lack of grip is not the result of placing profit over public safety as was the case for the Corvair. However, the phrase, “unsafe at any speed” –the title of Ralph Nader’s 1965 book that exposed the auto industries’ focus on cost cutting at the expense of public safety, came to mind as I slipped and slid across hardwood, tile, cement, composite, brick, and asphalt while wearing these flip flops. Whether the surface was wet or dry changed only the complexion of the slip. The tricky part is that the outsole looks like it’d have ample grip. But you’d be wrong to think so. They are the equivalent of a clown’s squirting lapel flower. Let down your guard and WHAM! Gotcha!

Then there is the styling. It falls somewhere between tacky and trashy. This is not helped by the choice of materials (which are obviously designed to place comfort first) combined with the overall aesthetic – which has all the personality and pizzazz of a sponge with a strap – give them the look of a flip flop that belongs in a “massage” parlor where the ending is the focus. The black fabric thong, spongy black footbed and slightly less spongy but still spongy outer soul seem most appropriate for such places. Unfortunately, by placing comfort above all else, the Teva mush II is lacking in Occasion, Traction, & Style. In placing comfort first Teva has made a rookie flip flop mistake.

Overall Performance — 2 out of 5

Overall Performance — 2 out of 5

“Massage” parlor?

   Occasion

“Massage” parlor?

Snug, no toe curl, walking without falling is an issue

 Fit — 3

Snug, no toe curl, walking without falling is an issue

Have the styling and personality of a sponge

 Style — 1

Have the styling and personality of a sponge

Just enough to make you drop your guard

 Traction — 1

Just enough to make you drop your guard

Light and cushy, just don’t try walking

 Comfort — 4

Light and cushy, just don’t try walking

No way man, get a grip.

 Dudeness — 1

No way man, get a grip.

BEVERAGE & MUSIC PAIRING

Beverage

A box of Harvey Wallbanger

Music

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